I often record audio along with my posts, but in this case it felt fitting for it to be left out.
Why?
Many people after reading my blog posts have told me that they see a side of me in these posts that they don’t see interacting with me in person.
That I seem more introspective and contemplative, more open, less abrasive - they are able to better see my perspectives and understand how I think and what I think about.
People can often fall into patterns of conversation. Their tone or mannerisms can sound dismissive, disinterested or even argumentative.
The back and forth nature of conversation turns it into a dance and often doesn’t give each person the opportunity to really go into detail about a thought as you’re balancing the needs of all parties in the conversation.
All sorts of things can get in the way of good communication - people not wanting to be wrong, wanting to prove their intelligence or worth to a group, habitual patterns of argumentativeness, casting blame for hurt feelings, misaligned communication styles or cultural norms etc.
This isn’t a problem that is specific to verbal communication, however there is a lot more information which is being conveyed - body language, tone of voice, etc. It also doesn’t really give you an opportunity to filter thoughts, your reaction to things is immediate and your expected response time is often quick.
I often feel like there is a pressure to talk, people often attribute feelings of connection with someone with good conversation. Ask the right amount of questions, don’t ask too many questions, ask questions which open the conversation up and couldn’t be answered with a simple yes or no, don’t be too short or dismissive of questions that are asked of you, don’t ramble or talk about yourself or your interests too much. There’s just so much complexity that goes into good conversation and this is just the tip of the Titanic destroyer.
So this is why I’ve come to the conclusion that you should just…
Cut out my tongue
And give me a pen
Isn’t that a bit rash?
One hundred percent, yes. There’s nothing wrong with verbal communication, in a lot of ways it’s the most powerful communication tool we have. I just find it exhausting at times.
I feel like I want to explore more ways of being in the world and connecting with people in deep ways whilst relying much less on language. Less emphasis on intellectual or analytical analysis and more on being present with each other.
During my trip to Hawaii, we had a group improv comedy session and it really highlighted something for me. There’s so many ways you can be with other people and connect with them - some provide more space for people as part of the social contract, others less.
I feel like I want to float through the infinite dream machine for a while…